This year I got a little notebook to write project stuff in. Last year I had a whiteboard. I still have the whiteboard, but I’m not using it as much. I feel like I probably should be using the whiteboard, but since cleaning things up, there’s no real place for it in the guest room slash iMac room. My penmanship isn’t great, but my printing—okay, I’ve used “but” as a conjunction in almost all the sentences so far this post. Moving on.
My penmanship isn’t great. Small, precise printing in the notebook is cool, in a very Grail Diary sort of way. Because I like the idea of being able to follow my thoughts, even at a later date. When I go through old short stories, I never have any idea of where the story was supposed to be going. There’s one where I swear I was either still in high school or just out and I’d learned the word “ichthyologist” so I started writing a story with a fish doctor lead. No idea where it was going. I assume I had some idea for a plot. I used to just think you wrote until you found a plot, then edited accordingly. Whereas with the novels I realized I’m never going to find a plot.
The way I perceive and process narratives really does mess with my potential to write short stories. Or it did when I thought about writing them. There’s the funny thing about MFA school; helped me write my best ever short stories and then convince me I didn’t want to write short stories.
The thing about the whiteboard fail is I still like it as a visible indicator of things I’m working on. The notebook doesn’t work that way. It’s good for referencing, but it’s not good for reminding. I even avoid some of it because it’s either projects I’m not working on yet or projects I thought I’d be done with by now.
Like my page for Summing-Up, which has a list of posts I’m behind to check off. Valentine’s Day, getting home after ten, really threw me. I remember when we moved here and someone said they didn’t want to go to the midnight movie and I didn’t understand them. I’m old and tired; though I mean going on like five and a half hours of sleep and doing pretty well for it today.