I like it when a piece of software lets you do something stupid. It’s an experience you can’t get on iOS or, presumably, Android. The easy example is playing a game you can’t support, but somehow you still manage to get it running a bit. I just got a Java app running from the command line to load fifty-six files to examine. No warning, just a long hang and then the results. Spread out over like four monitors’ width. It’s dumb, but vaguely amusing. It gets you invested in the app.
Wow. The Java app even has full screen support in MacOS. This feels so dumb, but in a somewhat retro enough way. I’ve been hiding out a bit. Less thinking, more playing video games. I’ve always argued VR Grand Theft Auto, but not VR where you have to move, just it reacts to your brainwaves or something, will be a big thing. If the world makes it long enough. It’s getting concerning how much people still want to believe in magic. I think some of my hiding out is because I want to avoid the magical thinking. At the same time, I’m here for Kevin Huizenga relaunching Peanuts (which would have a lot of magical realism, but scientifically based).
So it’s all part of this avoidance thing. It’s gotten pretty comfortable. It’s not ideal—it’s not an ideal avoidance by any means—but it’s a comfortable one. The brain can stop thinking. Not reading a Maugham this month really helped with it too. There’s nothing to fall back on. Instead, Summing-Up just becomes this daily writing practice. It’s a little bit different of a writing practice, but it’s just the practice. And writing practices are annoying. They’re annoying when they don’t work, they’re even more annoying when they do. Because it means there’s a right and wrong way and when you make a mistake—so you have to experience it a lot, which is why short stories are so much better for getting to think about your writing than noveling it. When I wrote my novel in MFA, instead of continuing with short stories, it was because I knew there wasn’t anything I wanted to do with a short story for myself. I was sick of cutting down; I wanted to write a novella, I mean, honestly, going back to undergrad. But novellas are the most pretentious thing in the world. Even more so than chapbooks. Not saying they’re not good, ditto chapbooks, just saying there’s a pretense to it. An understanding changes hands.
I got off track—I’m trying to start doing early mornings again. 4:30 mornings. All workdays. Get stuff done. I don’t know. Try to get the brain working in the mornings again. I know it used to work in the mornings.